Military Tales – The party that quite wasn’t

The military (or at least the Airforce) is adamantly against underaged
drinking, the base that I was stationed at made it their personal
mission to make sure that anyone caught drinking underage would get an Article 15 and get treated like an alcoholic.

Now, I wasn't the example of a shining troop. I guess one could actually call me somewhat of a Dirtbag
airman. I didn't go out of my way to be an ass, well… perhaps I did
depending on who you asked. I wasn't winning Airman of the quarter but
I didn't get a dishonourable discharge either. I did my thing and
didn't really go out of my way to be above and beyond, but at least I
followed the rules.

That being said, all of my bosses thought I
went out of my way to break the rules. So when the night of my 21st
birthday came along mixed with the up coming going away of a close
friend… the rumour mill amongst the higher ups believed that I would
be planning something huge and filled with opportunities to punish!

Sexy wasn't 21 yet, she'd been caught drinking underage in the past and
I knew that she was going to be at my shindig. I had actually decided
to pull a non drinking party so that we could take Airman PunkRocker
(my nickname for my friend who was separating and leaving) to the
hospital and pull some antics. It was tradition for the Med techs who
worked at the hospital to get a nice dinner and thrown into the
fountain fully clothed. Airman PunkRocker
didn't get this so some of us decided to treat him to it. We brought
the video camera, because we knew that much hilarity would ensue and
Airman PunkRocker needed it documented to remember we loved him.

The night went well enough and Airman PunkRocker
did end up tossed into the fountain, everyone was sober and we had a
grand clean time. I gave the video evidence of the evening to PunkRocker and he went on his way to Arizona to leave the military for good.

thought I had heard all I would hear about that night… until a month
later. I was drug into my Superintendent's office (he was a Master
Sergeant who was buff to say the least, he had to have his uniform
shirts specially tailored to fit around his massive muscles…
incidentally he was a bit intimidating and didn't like me).

Muscles wove a tale of epic debauchery. Apparently the rumour mill
(which he fully believed) had talked about this epic party that
happened a week ago at my house with drugs, alcohol, underaged
drinking and lots of other things. Apparently we had drug this party of
great sin to the hospital where we were running around naked in the
halls, with a video camera!

Muscles thought he had me, he /knew/ there was video evidence… I
looked at him and stared blankly trying to fully digest the epic night
that I apparently organized and took part in. All I could say was,
"Will all due respect Sir, that sounded like one hell of a party… I'm
sad I missed it."

And this is the crux of why Tia was a dirtbag Airman. The end of the story goes as follows: Tia didn't get an article 15, however, her big mouth earned her a LOR and apparently the entire base still believed that such debaucherous party took place, yet no one has proof.

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