Greatest Work Email Ever

I've received a great deal of crazy emails in my startup career, some scams and some serious.  When I was in my Community Director job, I thought those were the craziest mails I'd ever get.  I received death threats, barely intelligible emails, flat out stupid things, crazy conspiracies, and everything else in between.  One time, I was emailed an online petition started by a Turkish gentleman who was trying to gather multiple signatures from across the entire country of Turkey to have me extradited and executed for my crimes against humanity (and by crimes I mean IP bans for individuals who grossly violated the Terms of Service of the site I worked for).  Today, I am proud to announce, I have received the greatest email of my career thus far.  Below, is an email that I received at work, left without commentary.  It requires none. Enjoy!

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Original Email Text: 

You have been betrayed!!! It’s a pity that this how your life is going to come to an end as your death had already been paid for by someone who is very close to you from all investigations.

 I have ordered 3 (three) of my men to monitor every move of you and make sure you are not out of sight till the date of your assassination.

 According to the report I gets, you seem to be innocent about what you have been accuse but I have no business with that, so that’s why am contacting you to know if truly you are innocent and how much you value your life.

Get back to me if you sure want to live on, ignore this mail only if you feel it’s a joke or just a threat.

Don’t forget your days on earth are numbered, so you have the chance to live if only you will comply with me.

WARNING: Tell no one about this mail to you because he or she might just be the person who wants you dead, and if that happens, I will be aware and am going to make sure you DIE instantly.

I will give you every detail of where to be and how to take any actions be it legal or illegal, that’s only when I read from you.

You need to stay calm and act unaware of this situation and follow instructions because any move you make that is suspicious; you will DIE as your days are numbered. 


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